You join a gym but binge on junk food, maybe you let go of a destructive relationship only to compulsively check Facebook stalking your ex. Why is it that many of us can sabotage our attempts at doing the right thing?
Many of us may want to be self-confident and positive about our future, yet under the surface we could be holding a belief that we deserve to suffer and so we unconsciously resist making choices that serve us because deep down we don’t believe we are worthy of anything more.
Feeling ‘undeserving’ comes from situations in our past which may have influenced the way we perceive ourselves. Maybe you’ve experienced trauma, rejection, shame, loss or other negative experiences and as a result you grew up holding on to feelings of anger or sadness which block you from feeling safe enough to experience happiness. If all you’ve ever known is pain and sadness, maybe the feelings of happiness, stability and success feel unfamiliar to you.
If you’ve been constantly made to feel that you aren’t good enough, you may find it difficult to acknowledge your strengths or talents. Maybe the pain from your history makes it difficult for you to believe in yourself or your abilities and so you continue to feel undeserving or sabotage anything good that happens in your life.
Maybe you can’t complete what you start or sabotage your career and relationships, or maybe you run away from your feelings by numbing them with alcohol or drugs, hoping that they’ll go away. Many of us don’t even realise when our feelings of un-deservingness formed and it’s these feelings that act as contributing factors to low self-esteem and lack of confidence.
How to overcome feelings of un-deservingness:
Ask yourself what would make you undeservingWhat qualities or characteristics are making you feel unworthy? Be as honest as possible and write down your feelings.
Understand the cause of your beliefsnow that you’ve written down the things that make you feel unworthy, ask yourself why you think those traits make you un-deserving. Where do they come from? Are events from the past connected to how you feel in the present? How long have you been feeling this way? Investigate where your feelings are coming from and write them down.
Let go of past regretsRemember that the past is the past and it can’t be changed so reliving it in your mind can prevent you from moving forwards. Use this time to be compassionate with yourself. Let go of past regrets, forgive those who hurt you, forgive yourself for not knowing any different and set yourself free to create a new future for yourself.
Affirm that you are worthyEveryday look into your eyes in the mirror and say ‘I am worthy and deserving of health, wealth and happiness’ 21 times for 21 days!
Removing feelings of un-deservingness isn’t an overnight process. It requires courage, guidance and emotional strength to set yourself free from the chains of your past. When you start working on your threads of not feeling like you deserve to be happy, you can feel empowered to make room for positive changes in your life that can lead to a brighter future.
Find out how i can help you to move past what’s holding you back with a complimentary coaching call.