With people continuously posting their highlight reels on social media, it can be easy to compare yourself to others and feel like you don’t measure up. Maybe you’re single and see your friends getting married or in happy relationships and feel frustrated that you aren’t. Perhaps you’re not doing so well in your career, and you see others posting about how great they are doing in theirs. Maybe you aren’t financially successful, yet you see others flaunting their lavish holidays, weddings and purchases and feel worse about yourself.
If seeing others successes frequently triggers jealousy it can be unhealthy, wasteful and unproductive to your own self-esteem which not only leaves you feeling resentful, it energetically keeps you stuck in a place of lack which blocks your own success.
TOP WAYS TO STOP FEELING JEALOUS
1. FOCUS ON THE GOOD THINGS IN YOUR OWN LIFE
If you want feelings of jealousy to stop denting your self-esteem, it’s vital that you start focusing on the good things in your life. Often we can be so focused on what is lacking that we may overlook the blessings we have in our own lives.
We may be in a great relationship, be blessed with great friends, have loving families or have a career which allows us to evolve. Making a list of all the great things we DO have is an excellent way to take stock and remind ourselves of how lucky we are. Gratitude also raises our vibes and increases our ability to receive even more of the good stuff.
2. UNDERSTAND THE GRASS ISN’T ALWAYS GREENER
Maybe the person you’re feeling jealous of is lacking in one of the areas where you’re excelling and wishes they had what you do. Often we only see a small part of another’s story, we don’t always see the full picture. It can be easy to compare yourself to others, but they could quite easily envy an area of your life that you’re doing well in.
It’s also important to empathise and put yourself in another person’s shoes. Maybe everything looks great on their social feed, but the reality could be far different to what you think. Perhaps you see your friends with their own business and think to yourself that you’d love to have that. On the surface, it may look great, but you may not realise how much hard work they’ve had to do to achieve that, how many late nights they may have spent working on their plans and learning or the number of sacrifices they’ve had to make on their time. Maybe you see someone in a beautiful relationship, but you may not realise that for them to have got that, perhaps they had to do a lot of work on their own self-worth or make compromises to sustain their relationship, and the list goes on.
When many of us are only sharing a filtered 5% of our lives on social media, it can be easy to get sucked into a cycle of envy, comparison, and jealousy. The next time you find these feelings eating away at you, remind yourself that the grass isn’t always greener and that we’re all on this journey of life and struggle in our own ways.
3. FOCUS ON YOUR OWN QUALITIES & SKILLS
You can stop yourself from feeling jealous of other people’s successes when you value your own qualities and skills. Usually, the underlying cause of jealousy is social comparison. If you can feel confident about your own positive attributes just as they are, then your self-esteem is less likely to depend on social comparisons. Making a list of all of your qualities and the skills you have is an excellent way for you to remind yourself of your own gifts instead of getting caught up focussing on everyone else’s.
Maybe you see others as more intelligent, more confident or more attractive and overlook your own strengths. The more you do this, the more likely you are to dim your own light and lose sight of your own magnificence. Learning to honour your own talents will not only boost your self-esteem, but it will also provide you with the capacity to appreciate others qualities instead of envying them.
4. USE JEALOUSY AS AN INTERNAL GUIDANCE SYSTEM
Feeling jealous of someone’s success can be a valuable way for you to identify what it is that you’d like to achieve in your own life. Remember everyone else out there is also like you, trying to develop as a person and achieve his or her own goals. Instead of feeling negative and jealous of others success, choose to be inspired and motivated to better yourself.
Rather than seeing someone in a happier relationship or career and feeling frustrated, think of steps you could take – like those you feel envious of to realise the potential of your own abilities and reach for your own dreams. You can also reach out to those people and ask for advice, tips or guidance on how to get there. Taking action is far more productive than dwelling in negative emotions which keep you stagnant and depressed.
Remember, we always have the choice to select the perspective we view a situation from. Are you allowing jealousy to be your friend or is it your biggest foe? Let me know how you avoid feeling jealous in the comments below.